I’ll admit it, I am one petty little b****…I just can’t help it – and I’m not going to try. But here’s the thing, if you’re going to be petty you might as well do it well. Don’t just do the bare minimum, go full out, master the art.

Michelle Obama famously said “when they go low, we go high”…wise words Mrs. Obama…now I want you to forget you read that. When they go low, we must go lower. Remember, there is no prize for taking the high road. Show ‘em who is really running the show. Sitting quiet and taking it is for when you’re old and boring. Stir that pot up, girl. Whether it’s some girls in your extended social circle or the guy that decided to mess with you, let the petty in you take over.

What is “Petty”?

In order to fully master the art, you must understand the definition of the term.

So, according to Urban Dictionary (which is a legitimate source), here is what it means to be petty:

“At times, making something otherwise insignificant into something bigger to suit their own agenda.”

Key Petty Points

There’s a strategy to being petty, you want to be subtle enough that you don’t look pathetic, but dramatic enough that people know the message you’re trying to get across. The easiest way to be petty is on social media, Snapchat stories or Instagram captions are great options. My personal favourite: tagging people in Instagram comments. Really want to stir the pot? Tag the other girls your man is talking to in the comments of his new Instagram post.

DO THE MOSSSSSTTTTT

Are you really committed to the petty life and willing to go the extra mile when your man slips up? Hit up his boys. Have no shame, move onto the next. If you’re really looking to make an impact, go back and forth between them, answer one of the guy’s texts and not the others (switch it up). Better yet, go for roommates, it’s strategic to keep it all under one roof and you’ll know for a fact that everyone understands what you’re trying to do. I’ve even gone as low as copying and pasting texts to both guys – that’ll teach ‘em a lesson (not quite sure what the lesson is but they really wont like this).

Face to Face

If you have the opportunity to be petty in person, take advantage. There isn’t one simple way to be petty in person, you really have to feel out the situation and work with what you’ve got. Playing dumb works when the subject starts up a conversation, make it seem like it’s taking you a few seconds to remember who they are. Say hello to their friends and brush them off. Better yet, have one of their boys buy you a drink 🙂

You’re not limited to bar or party settings, being petty in class can take you pretty far too! I can’t stress how important it is to know your subject…what really gets under their skin? Were there any jokes that only the two of you will understand? All information can be key information when plotting your moves.

 

Don’t strive to be perfect, strive to be petty.